Loving words to Loving Friends: The Speech I gave to my friends Graeme and Zoe on their Wedding Day

Thank you so much Graeme and Zoe for inviting me to enjoy this wonderful day with you both. To see my dear friends married makes me joyful beyond words. I am so blessed to be here and I cannot thank you enough for including me in this awesome day.

And thank you so much for your wonderful friendship. You have both blessed me in amazing ways but most of all you have blessed me by being incredibly loving friends to me. I am so grateful to God for bringing such wonderful friends into my life. Our friendship is another display of God’s grace in our lives and another reason for us to be full of thankfulness and gratitude to him.

But as wonderful as our friendship is it is not perfect. We are fallible and sadly we let each other down. As you begin your lives together it brings me joy to remind you of one who will never fail you, who will always be there for you, who will never stop loving you. The bible says,

“But you, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious,

slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness.”

(Psalm 86:15)

“Your steadfast love, O LORD, extends to the heavens,

your faithfulness to the clouds.” (Psalm 36:5)

“The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases;

His mercies never come to an end;

They are new every morning;

Great is your faithfulness.”

(Lamentations 3:22-23)

I would also like to share with you my experience of what a faithful friend Jesus has been in my life. Many are the times when depression has plunged me into the dark depths of despair. But he has been there to comfort and care for me even when my whole world seemed to be falling apart. It has been in my darkest days that I have experienced his love most intimately and intensely, seen his sovereignty in action most clearly, and been blessed by his grace to get through another day. You have a friend who will stick by you no matter what happens in your lives. In days of joy and sadness he promises to remain faithful to you and to always set his loving affections on you.

Graeme and Zoe, I am not a wealthy man. I don’t have a financial nest egg to fall back on. I don’t have many expensive possessions. I don’t own my own house. I don’t have a high earning job. I don’t have an advanced education. I don’t have a long list of friends. These are all the things the world we live in esteems as valuable. But what I and you do have that eclipses all of these is Jesus Christ. He is infinitely more valuable than anything the world esteems as valuable. The bible says,

“He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation. For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities- all things were created through him and for him. And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together. And he is the head of the body, the church. He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything he might be preeminent. For in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of the cross.” (Colossians 1:15-20)

And Jesus, pointing to himself as the one who satisfies the deep spiritual longings of your soul and your longing to know God, says,

“I am the bread of life;

whoever comes to me shall not hunger,

and whoever believes in me shall not thirst.”

(John 6:35)

As you begin your lives together I hope and pray that each day you will point each other to the treasure that can never perish, whose love never fades, and whose grace will always be amazing. You were made for someone bigger than yourselves and bigger than each other. You were made to enjoy Jesus forever.

Recently I read these words from John Piper which I hope will encourage you as you begin a new chapter in your lives. He writes,

“Marriage is not mainly about prospering economically; it is mainly about displaying the covenant-keeping love between Christ and his church. Knowing Christ is more important than making a living. Treasuring Christ is more important than bearing children. Being united to Christ by faith is a greater source of marital success than perfect sex and double-income prosperity. So it is with marriage. It is a momentary gift. It may last a lifetime, or it may be snatched away on the honeymoon. Either way, it is short. It may have many bright days, or it may be covered with clouds. If we make secondary things primary, we will be embittered at the sorrows we must face. But if we set our face to make of marriage mainly what God designed it to be, no sorrows and no calamities can stand in our way. Every one of them will be, not an obstacle to success, but a way to succeed. The beauty of the covenant-keeping love between Christ and his church shines brightest when nothing but Christ can sustain it.”

Graeme and Zoe, thank you so much for having me here to enjoy this day with you both. I wish you all the very best for the future. God bless and much love to you in our blessed Saviour Jesus Christ.

The Many Wives and Concubines of King Solomon

Now King Solomon loved many foreign women, along with the daughter of Pharaoh: Moabite, Ammonite, Edomite, Sidonian, and Hittite women, from the nations concerning which the LORD had said to the people of Israel, "You shall not enter into marriage with them, neither shall they with you, for surely they will turn away your heart after their gods." Solomon clung to these in love. He had 700 wives, princesses, and 300 concubines. And his wives turned away his heart. For when Solomon was old his wives turned away his heart after other gods, and his heart was not wholly true to the LORD his God, as was the heart of David his father. For Solomon went after Ashtoreth the goddess of the Sidonians, and after Milcom the abomination of the Ammonites. So Solomon did what was evil in the sight of the LORD and did not wholly follow the LORD, as David his father had done. Then Solomon built a high place for Chemosh the abomination of Moab, and for Molech the abomination of the Ammonites, on the mountain east of Jerusalem. And so he did for all his foreign wives, who made offerings and sacrificed o their gods. (1 Kings 11:1-8)

One of the arguments brought against the bible by critics is, "doesn't the Old Testament endorse multiple wives since it does not prohibit it." But as can be seen from this passage, not only does the Old Testament prohibit polygamy it gives warnings as to the consequences of practicing such a defilement of the covenant of marriage first given in Genesis 2:24 with the words,

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife,

and they shall become one flesh."

Since this passage concerns Adam and Eve we can see from the very beginning marriage was to be between one woman and one man, and as God's revelation was unfolded in Exodus 34 he commands the Israelites, as they on the verge of going into the promised land, to drive out the peoples who live there, "lest you make a covenant with the inhabitants of the land to which you go, lest it become a snare to you." (Exodus 34:12) And "you take of their daughters for your sons, and their daughters whore after their gods and make your sons whore after their gods. (Exodus 34:16) Marriage was therefore to be between a man and a woman and those who belonged to Israel were not to marry those who belonged to foreign nations, who were outside Israel. This is the very thing which King Solomon, who had begun his reign with great obedience and wisdom, now failed to do. Instead of marrying one woman, as stipulated in Genesis, and marrying a women of his own nation, as stipulated in Exodus, he took multiple wives into his bed and therefore his heart and gave himself over to the very gods that the LORD had commanded him to reject. It is simply not true that the Old Testament does not reject polygamy. It warns against it and whenever it is practiced there are always dire consequences. A primary example of this is king Solomon. 

In 1 Kings 11:9 we read, 

And the LORD was very angry with Solomon, because his heart had turned away from the LORD, the God of Israel, who had appeared to him twice and had commanded him concerning this thing, that he should not go after other gods. But he did not keep what the LORD commanded. Therefore the LORD said to Solomon, "Since this has been you practice and you have not kept my covenant and my statutes that I have commanded you, I will surely tear this kingdom from you and will give it to your servant." 

All the riches, wisdom, and rule that Solomon had was to be stripped from him and given to his servant.  The kingly rule of Israel will be given to him who was once the king's servant. All that he enjoyed, the wealth, the possessions, and his privileges and rights as king were to be taken from him so that he who was beneath him will now rule over him. And as a consequence of Solomon's polygamy, a dynasty of malevolent rulers, dispersed with the exceptionally benevolent, ruled over Israel and far from leading the people closer to God led them into further depths of idolatry and depravity which would result in their being ruled over by a foreign king and being taken into captivity to a foreign land.

So what can we learn from this sad episode in the life of Solomon? How is this biblical account relevant for us today? I believe there are three lessons we can draw from this biblical passage.

1) Marriage is not a social institution created by man but is a covenant created by God between one man and one woman. In this age, when marriage is being redefined and broadened to include same sex relationships, Christians are going to find themselves put under more and more pressure by the surrounding culture to cave in when it comes to what the bible defines marriage to be. Just as Solomon caved in to having multiple wives and so redefined marriage beyond the biblical parameters, which resulted in horrible consequences to the nation of Israel, any person and any ruler who rejects the biblical definition of marriage will reap personal and national catastrophe as has been attested by the Greek  and Roman empires which have long since passed into history.

2) Marriage for the nation of Israel was restricted to within its own people. For the Christian today marriage is restricted to those who confess and possess faith in Jesus Christ. Marriage for the Christian is defined not only as being between one man and one woman but is also defined as being between those who have Jesus Christ as their Saviour and Lord. This is why Paul wrote, "do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever?" (2 Corinthians 6:14-15)

3) Untold pain and hurt can be avoided if the Christian follows the biblical parameters given to him or her for marriage. I have seen the carnage and havoc caused to the Christian who has a relationship with the non- Christian, and the conflict and tearing away at their beliefs that occur to the point where they deny their faith altogether and prove that they never believed in Christ to begin with. Great sadness, hurt, and sorrow, can be avoided, but even more the protection of a person's faith and salvation is what is at stake.